Hey guys, how are you all doing? I hope you’re enjoying my blog posts! First, before I get into the new post:I have set up an email solely for this blog: firstname.lastname@example.org, so feel free to email me if you have any questions, comments, or just want to reach out! Don’t be shy! I don’t bite, I pwomise!
I know that my post about what it’s like to have an epileptic seizure received a lot of attention (well from my end of things) so I hope for those of you without seizures, it gave you a really strong sense of what it’s like to have seizures. Most of the seizures we hear about are Grand Mal seizures (also known as Tonic clonic seizures). I have only had maybe three of this type of seizure, (let me knock on wood for good measure) yet I can only imagine what it’s like to have it on a regular basis. However, I feel like my post brought to post the other types of seizures that people with epilepsy experience. When I wrote that post, I was in a pretty good head space, and I was doing pretty well. Seizure wise, I hadn’t had any in about 8 days, which is pretty good! If you want to know more about Grand Mal seizures, click this link: http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/aboutepilepsy/seizures/genconvulsive/tonicseizures.cfm.
I went to the Epilepsy Support Group, which was really great. I can’t really tell you much detail about the actual meeting, due to the confidential nature of the group, but at the meeting I was feeling really well. I wasn’t feeling tired or worn out. After the meeting I hung out a bit and talked to some of the members as well as one of the volunteers. I was standing by the doorway, right by the hallway where there were more meeting rooms (our meeting room was closest to the lobby) and I suddenly felt a buzzing feeling inside my chest. When I am with people I don’t very well and I feel a seizure coming on, I have this automatic response to leave the room. It’s like I can’t control it. Well, needless to say, that didn’t go very well. I took one step out of the room and then SPLAT. I did a face plant, and all the pressure went to my left knee. As if I would have a seizure at an Epilepsy Support Group! Everyone knew what to do. People knew not to crowd me, so only some people helped out. Thankfully my Mum was waiting for me in her car outside, so someone went outside and grabbed her, so she was right by my side. Thank god for mums, right?? Once the seizure was over, two people helped me up, and since it was so quiet, I said to the group, “Well that’s a wrap!” We all had a good laugh. It lessened the tension in the room at least. After the seizure, my mum and someone from the support group helped me to my mum’s car, and then my mum drove me home. I probably should have sat in the back seat as I seized on the trip home, but we made it, and my mum tucked me into bed. Basically, this seizure was the catalyst for feeling completely rotten, if I am going to use plain English here.
I went to see my Neurologist the next day and I am starting a new medication soon (Vimpat) which is a relief. Maybe these “Splat” seizures will end soon. (Splat Seizures are my own terminology. Maybe I’ll coin the term!)
This seizure, plus some other stuff thats going on, just made me feel so depressed. I generally feel pretty positive and optimistic about life, but once I processed everything, I couldn’t help but feel the impact of the news that I heard. I couldn’t stop crying, and I couldn’t help but feel alone. I know I’m not alone but you know what? I am only human.
I spent most of my weekend in bed, reading and watching videos. Due to the seizures and the other stuff, I had to miss a weekend long workshop that I was really looking forward to, so that made me really bummed. Thankfully my mum bought me a book while I was in my Epilepsy Support Group Meeting. It’s “The Truth About Style” By Stacy London. I have wanted this book forever, but just never got around to buying it. I read almost all of it in one weekend. If you love What Not to Wear and Stacy London, I would highly recommended it! I have been watching What Not to Wear for years so Stacy London is a role model and fashion icon of sorts for me. Her book helped take my mind off all the emotional turmoil that was going through my mind. Today, while browsing facebook, I came across something my friend’s little sister had posted. It was a list of positive distractions! Check it out: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_marxrgmoHM1r0mbpqo1_500.jpg Someone had commented: “what is this- a list of how to procrastinate?” Okay, at first glance, maybe it seems like a procrastination list, but if you really need to get your mind off something, it’s a pretty good list. I looked through the list and realized that I already do some of the things! I like to make tea, make to-do lists, think of things that make me happy, and I try to realize that everything will be okay. I can’t say I am actively putting this list to use today, but I will definitely tucking it in my back pocket. I’ve been listening to uplifting music all day. It’s not doing a ton, but more than if I wasn’t listening to anything. My brother once teased me that my room sounded like a club. Haha that memory still makes me laugh. Do you have anything that you use that helps you get your mind off of rotten things?? I would love to hear them! Maybe over time we can compile a Life at Full Volume list! That would be pretty cool!
Anyways, send good vibes my way! The weather is grey and icky here, and there are only so many cups of tea that I can drink. Love you all. xox