Living with Seizures and Experiencing Alternative Realities

WP_000450Seizures are tough. Sometimes I want to huddle under my blankets forever or I can’t shake the fear after taking a tumble. In addition, some of my seizures cause the experience of an alternative reality. This is no joke. I am an not trying to be witty or humorous. I have experienced seizures where, for a certain amount of time I completely and 100 percent believed that I was a different person and in a different context. Mind blown yet? Just wait. It gets better.

A couple of weeks ago my Mom and I were going for a walk in the park near my house. As we were approaching the part of the park where there is a grassy meadow, I fell backwards in a seizure into the soft grass, and I don’t know how long the seizure lasted, but I remember believing that I was a five year old at a birthday party. When I came out of the seizure, I remember feeling almost annoyed that I had left that reality. I was having fun as a five year old! Now I was back to every day me, and I hadn’t even had the chance to have a piece of cake at the party. Humph.

One of my other alternative reality experiences occured when I was at the Neurological Hospital when I was showering. I went from washing my hair to suddenly talking with Ashton Kutcher (From That 70’s Show! Remember him?) We were good buddies and he was just funny and charming as he in the movies and TV shows. I have no idea how much time I lost, but suddenly I was me, in the shower again, slouching on the shower bench with the hand shower device drooping in my left hand. I didn’t tell any of the nurses any of the details of that seizure, beyond “I had a seizure in the shower”. Which, by the way having a seizure in water can be VERY dangerous, as you can go unconcious and say if you’re in the bath and unsupervised you could potentially drown. Scary, I know but it’s a reality. That’s why I always take very quick shower and never bathe when I’m home alone. It’s probably been about 3 years since I’ve had a bath.

So you’re probably calling my bluff and guffawing at all of this. These experiences sound more like dreams, you might say. The thing is, they aren’t. I wasn’t sleeping, but a part of my brain was acting in a way that changed my perception of reality. It’s actually kinda cool. If you think about it, I have experienced multiple realities. My day to day reality plus these ever so often alternative realities. I can tell you for sure that I have been in my room by myself but was talking out loud to someone that wasn’t even there. I was sitting on my windowsill in my residence room (the windowsill was right above the bed, and not high up) and I was talking to a “friend” who came into the room because she was worried I was going to fall. I told her that “Aww I knew you were going to come into my room because you thought I was going to fall. Well, I didn’t!” I’m not sure how I remember this conversation, but in the moment it felt as real as ever. I’m not going to lie, but I actually kinda enjoy these weird alternative realities. They’re neat in a bizarre kinda way. I have had at least 4 of these experiences (probably more), and all of them were different. I was alone for almost all of them, so I don’t know how long I existed in each of them.

This is a rad part of having seizures.. Somedays it’s like living in a Sci-Fi movie, so it keeps life interesting. Yeah, yeah I know, seizures are difficult, but I may as well appreciate the interesting ones. This is not uncommon for people with seizures. Sometimes they believe that they are somewhere else and are completely disoriented. SO I know I’m not the only one with these experiences. If you don’t believe me, then that’s cool. But this is definitely 100 percent real.

Love you lots! xox

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4 thoughts on “Living with Seizures and Experiencing Alternative Realities”

  1. It is definitely safe to be with another. The experience of not telling others, having a seizure and walking alone to cross big, busy streets is no good. I had this recently. We can’t really predict how any seizures will be and we can’t blame strangers for allowing us to wander. As scary as it was, I met new caring friends and I have to accept that this is the reason why it happened.

  2. I know what its like to not shower alone, cook alone, etc. But you’re right, being vulnerable does take strength and although I’m not physically strong I consider myself hospital strong. Lol

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