Why Self-Acceptance is Your Ticket to Success

Hey Everyone! Sorry about being MIA- I have been all over the map (literally!) I am finally back in my own digs with my little doggy and I couldn’t be happier about that! Today’s post is about self-acceptance. I think it’s something that everyone needs to work on. Enjoy!

daily-motivational-quotes-13I won’t lie. I have been pissed off about having seizures before. It has made me angry that I have had to move away from a life full of many friends back to living with my parents, that I have had to miss major milestones of my friends, such as weddings and other big events. I’ve thought about this, and when I was chewing on that thought I realized something super important: everyone has something that they have to deal with in their lives. It may not be seizures but it’s something. Also, I don’t need to let my seizures be the ball and chain to tie me down to an unsatisfactory life. In fact, if I accept it and figure out ways to live while accommodating my needs, I can live a pretty damn good life.

Okay so I may not love living with epilepsy but it’s a tiny part of who I am and I just need to accept it. I am NOT my Epilepsy. It is just a medical diagnosis.  I have so much to contribute to the world, and the epilepsy is only a tiny part of what I have to deal with. I am generally pretty functional on a regular basis except when I have a bad bout of seizures. So by accepting my Epilepsy as part of my reality, I will be able to achieve my goals and do what I want to do. It has not been super easy accepting epilepsy as part of my reality; in fact I have ignored it as a problem and tried to live regularly when that was just not safe. But now I think I see the bigger picture. Despite the fact that I may have some “work arounds” that I need to think about that in order to get to my success,  I will be much more productive if I accept Epilepsy and my own limitations as part of my reality instead of sitting around being pissed off.

lao tzuRight now I am working on the vision for my future. What do I want it to look like? How can I make that happen despite the accommodations that I need to make for the seizures? Who will be part of my vision? Do you have a vision for your future despite something such as a medical condition or mental health issue that makes it difficult to live a “normal” life? I would challenge you to think about what you have to contribute to the world, and how you could make that happen. I believe everyone has something positive to contribute, just some (such as myself!) need a little extra help to get that going. Just remember- you are NOT your condition! You are much more than that!

Love you all! xox



Making Connections With Others Through Epilepsy

tight holding handsHey friends! How are you doing?? I am updating this blog from snowy Montreal….I am looking forward to heading home so I can avoid the snow and just be in the rain. 😉

I was recently discharged from the Montreal Neurological Hospital and I realized something really important: spending a significant amount of time in a hospital has changed me as a person. I feel like I have more empathy for others, and for the decisions that they make. For example, some may choose to do certain things (such as not use a cell phone on a constant basis) because it’s better for their overall morale. There are so many things that people do just because it makes them healthier individuals.I have also decided that if (god forbid) any of my friends end up in hospital I will most definitely go visit them on a regular basis. Regular visitors really boosts one’s morale when staying in the hospital. It also gives you something to look forward to.

you are not aloneAnyways, while I was in the hospital I had the opportunity to make some new friends. There was something comforting about being surrounded by people who were living with similar problems as I am. I mean, I would never wish my Epilepsy on anyone, but it is so easy to feel like you are the only one who is struggling with serious medical problems. I always try to put on a positive and optimistic face, so sometimes it’s easy to think that I am coping with things super well. The reality is though, my Epilepsy is hard to live with and it is hard to explain that to people.

The seizures themselves are very difficult to explain to doctors, which doesn’t make things any easier. The friends I made and connected with understood the frustration and fear that I was going through. It was so cool to make new friends. I had people  to talk to when my Mom wasn’t at the hospital, and I was able to connect with people who were coming from similar walks of life.

you're my significant otterI think that it’s super important to reach out to people with similar medical conditions of you. Whether it be Epilepsy, Diabetes, ALS, MS, etc, it can really boost your own feelings about what you’re going through. It may also be easier to open up to someone who has been through (or is going through) what you’re experiencing. By reaching out and talking to people who also have seizures I feel less alone in my journey to wellness. I feel like people are there to support me (in addition to my friends and family), and that I can tell them about a bad fall due to a seizure, and that they will truly understand it.

Try to open up and talk to people in your community or just others that you know with Epilepsy. It might surprise you. You might just feel better about it all.

Keep fighting the good fight! Love you all! xox

Why My Strong and Positive Energy Doesn’t Always Last Forever

OITNB newEven the strongest and most positive of people will have their breaking points. As mentioned earlier, I have always been told how strong of a person I am, despite the fact that I didn’t fully understand what my friends, family members and even professors meant when they told me this. Consequentially, I only gained a sense of my own strength once I feel it’s shiny surface finally start to crack and shatter at my feet in a million little shards.

I have also been told how positive and cheerful of a person I am.  I’m an extrovert! I love meeting new people and savouring moments with old friends. If you know me in real life you know that I love to talk on the phone, go grab a coffee, go for a walk, etc etc. I wanna hear about everything that’s going on in your life! Having that connection with my friends gives me a real sense of purpose-and that I have friends in my life who care about what I’m going through.

its not who you areThis weekend has been tough though. On Sunday I had 15 seizures (due to reduced meds, which was safe to do since I am in a hospital and I am surrounded by nurses.This was also prescribed by my neurologist).  The seizures seem to be continuing into Monday morning, and even though I was just given Ativan through an IV, my mood has dropped significantly. Having excessive amounts of seizures is exhausting, and can make you feel like you are not autonomous enough to do the things you want to. Additionally, seizures just seem to suck me into a dark cloud of sadness. I don’t know why. It’s just the way my brain is working.

funny-win-story-even-after-all-this-time-the-sun-never-says-to-the-earth-you-owe-me-look-what-happens-with-a-love-like-that-it-lights-the-whole-sky-hafizEven though I was able to acquire my Bachelor of Social Work degree, I still have friends who are out and about working amazing jobs, living with roomies, and involved with partners. Having uncontrolled seizures isn’t my fault!! Some days I feel like such a terribly unaccomplished person. I can’t help it if I am high achieving! It’s hard to not compare yourself to your friends and younger family members, such as cousins.  I honestly feel like the next few years of my life will consist of living in and out the hospital, but I really hope that it is not the case. I have hopes and dreams for the future. I want to become bilingual, study my Masters of Social Work at McGill University, and find my dream job in Montreal. I am itching to move and learn and meet new friends. I try to keep this at the top of my mind when I feel down, but every once in awhile my shiny exterior has to crack and the flood gates will burst.

So I guess that’s where I’m at now. Feeling discouraged, sad, and encompassed in the dark cloud that I dub post-ictal sadness. (For you non epileptics, Post-Ictal means “after a seizure”). I think I should have a conversation with The Universe soon, and make sure that I will ultimately receive treatment and that it will work. Living in hospitals forever doesn’t jive with me. 😉

Can you relate with any of these feelings? Do you feel “behind” in your life due to seizures? Worry that your son/daughter/brother/sister feel the same way? Send positive vibes my way! lots of love! xox