Full LGBTQ Marriage Equality All Across The US!!

Hey friends! SO unless you’ve been living under a rock, the US has stated that LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Two Spirited, Queer and Questioning) people have access to marriage! I am 100% behind this, but there are WAY more issues for the LGBTQ community than just marriage. Check out this graphic:

LGBTQ
L
ove you lots! Regardless of Sexual or Gender orientation!  #LoveIsLove

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Life With a Loving Dog

11114024_10152816892730776_8345003914100605074_nHey everyone! I know I have been MIA, but sometimes life gets in the way! My JoJo has been helping me through it (Including many people), so this post is dedicated to her.

So I haven’t always loved dogs. When I was a little girl, I was almost bitten by two big German Shepards who got out of the fence diving my and my neighbour’s house. I vied for a cat when I was little; my cat was an orange Tabby named Peaches, who was so cuddly- considering he was a cat. (Not to be a hater!!)

But as the years have gone by I have realized I am more of a dog girl. I recently adopted a chihuahua pug who is the sweetest little dog you will ever meet. While we go out walking I often get stopped because- like myself, I would like to be friends with everyone, and b unlike myself she is a tiny 11 pound dog. My beautiful dog JoJo is the most loyal dog you would probably ever meet. I have been sick the past week, and she has stayed close to me, lying in my bed all day because I couldn’t get out of bed. When I would get up she would follow me, just to be sure that everything was okay. Somehow she knows that something is up.

Besides being protective, JoJo loves to cuddle, play around, and go to Starbucks with me. Oh yeah, and she likes to go for walks- although I have to encourage her a bit because she is a little bit lazy. 😛

Living with a debilitating chronic illness is sometimes unbearable, but JoJo brings happiness to my life. I can just scoop her up and cuddle her like a little baby. I do believe that it has been proven that contact with an animal improves mental health symptoms. I am just so glad to have JoJo, because I can tell her anything, and she seems to understand what I am going through.

In short, thanks JoJo. You’re amazing.

Love you all! xox

Feeling Grumpy About My Seizures

hyperbole and a halfhey friends! Hope you’re doing well, wherever you are in the world. As you can see from the title, I am feeling grumpy about my seizures.

Let’s be real, okay? I had an excellently productive day yesterday where I did Pilates in the morning, worked on my online course, and then  wrote cover letters for jobs that I could see myself thriving in. I also took my Chihuahua/Pug (Chug) out for a short walk, because it was pretty hot. My boyfriend came over, because he forgot his phone charger at my house. In these days and ages, forgetting your charger is like death because ultimately your phone WILL die and there’s nothing you can do about it. Phones are like our life lines. Ok enough about phones.

I had 5 seizures while sleeping, and then another two while awake. FABULOUS!! OMG just what I wanted! I am adding on more medication, in hopes that it will be the tape that makes days seizure-free, but I had so many plans for today!
Yogalates (a combo of Yoga and Pilates)
Work on my course
Write cover letters
Take my Chug, JoJo out for a walk.
It sounds boring and menial, but I thrive on structure and familiarity.

Now I have to get used to the structure of this:

Lie in bed on my back
Lie on my side
Go to the bathroom
Watch a documentary on Youtube
Feel pathetic about being mopey because the people on these shows have it way worse than me
Go into the kitchen, and open the fridge,
Decide that maybe the only thing I want to eat is an apple.
Wash the apple.
Eat the apple until I have a disgusting core in my room
I don’t want to get up to throw the core away

Basically, what I am getting at is- in addition to being scary and inconvenient, seizures can cause for very VERY boring days.  Facebook or no Facebook, they are still dull.

That is essentially my day when I have had a cluster of seizures and need to “take it easy”. I f***ng hate whoever came up with that term. Sita doesn’t “Take it easy”. Sita works hard, gets shit done, all the while taking care of herself.

Whelp. I guess I just have to focus on the latter. I hope your day isn’t as shitty as mine.

How I am Learning to Let Go of Perfectionism

Hey friends!! I hope you have been having a great week!! For some reason I am really tired this week. I am definitely not my usual peppy self, which kinda sucks.

I am imperfectSo I don’t usually let this cat out of the bag, but I am a perfectionist. You must be thinking “Her room must be spotless with everything in its place!” Hardly the case though, I have clothes everywhere, and I hate making my bed. So, from looking at my room you would never guess that I am a perfectionist. The clutter of my room simply represents the stress and of my mind.

I only really started to realize that I am a perfectionist in my first year of university. For some reason it was virtually impossible to start working on an essay if I didn’t have “the perfect opening line.” It basically looked like procrastination, but essentially I just couldn’t do it if I didn’t think it was going to be perfect. I forced myself to work on assignments and essays despite not having the “perfect opener” but it was a struggle, and people knew that I was generally always in the library, and if not I was in the gym, burning off all the stress.

I have become to realize how paralyzing perfectionism was. Only within this year I realized that I needed to get more information about it, and how I could deal with it. So, thankfully I found out that Perfectionism is tied to anxiety. Oh yay! How fun. If you have perfectionistic tendencies like I do, you are searching for some form of control. Being this way has kept me up at night because- I kid you not- I had this thought: “Oh my god I am so not perfect because a perfect person wouldn’t be a perfectionist!”

For a quick overview, you might be considered a perfectionist if you answer yes to any of these questions:

Do I have trouble meeting my own standards?
Do I often feel frustrated, depressed, anxious or angry while trying to meet my standards?
Have I been told that my standards are too high?
Do my standards get in the way? For example, do they make it difficult for me to meet deadlines, finish a task, trust others, or do anything spontaneously?  (Anxiety BC)

Sadly, I answered yes to ALL of these questions. I also was concerned about spelling ‘spontaneously’ correctly.

sometimes its toughYou see, the rational side of my mind thinks that perfection is kinda boring, yet the emotional side of my mind has latched on to the idea that it is the only way to be. It is also difficult being a perfectionist and having a chronic illness, because I can’t do things “the way everyone else does.” F that, right? Because we all have our own journey. It makes me think about people with other chronic illnesses, such as MS, and whether their chronic illness exacerbates their perfectionism? Or how wide spread this is? Is Perfectionism an issue with people who have chronic illnesses?

courtesy of yoganonomous
courtesy of yoganonomous

Anyways, I have started what is called “exposure therapy.” I don’t see a doctor for this, but I do things like have my boyfriend tell me that he thinks I’m perfect (I freaked the F out the first time he told me, and he genuinely meant it), put a typo or spelling mistake in an email, or show up to an event late. I have also bought a worry journal, so I have one little book where I can put all my crap and worries about the world. Realistically, I can figure out a way around them, but a worry is a worry for a reason.

What do you think about this?? Are you a perfectionist? Do you know one?

Lots of love! Stay imperfect!! xox

PS Yes it took me forever to write this!! It had to be “perfect”!

That Nasty Dawg! Seizures Actually Responded to Me!!!!!!

Dear Sita,

magnificent creatureI apologize greatly for wreaking havoc on your life. It must be so frustrating. I wish I could control the amount of havoc that I wreak on to your life. When I went to the Neurological counter before you were born, they held up your precious little face and I was devastated that I would have to create such chaos on a woman who is so competent and capable.

Try to see me as coming in to your life as little hiccups; life isn’t over sweetheart! If it were, I would march back up to that Neurological counter and demand a refund. I know you want to break up with me, but there are medications that can make us have a quasi-break up. I will always be there, but better controlled.

Hopefully they find a cure for this illness that wreaks chaos on not only you but 65 million people around the world. I wish I could have been the one who wrote “BlackBird” by the Beatles instead, but such is not so.

Please remember that people love you, despite me making life difficult, and the fact that you have to miss yoga class and dance class.

You are loved, despite my presence in your life.

Love,
Seizures xox