Hello. My name is Sita and I am an Epileptic.

facepalm
Hi Sita! I have never had a group of people say that back to me, as I have never introduced myself to a bunch of people like that. This blog is all about talking about the tough stuff. Ripping out the painful parts of your life and examining them. Were certain experiences meant to teach us something? Are we really on a track with a chronic illness? What does a track for someone who is chronically ill look like?

After moving back home when I got my degree, I slept for several months and then spent 7 weeks in hospital to try and figure out what was causing my seizures. I have had extensive testing done on my brain, and as of right now I am not a brain surgery candidate. It is discouraging. When I went to the hospital for 7 weeks last year I thought they would figure everything out and it would be a panacea for all of my seizure troubles.

I am a very extroverted person, and I will talk your ear off. Except when it comes to mentioning my Epilepsy to a potentially new friend. I have told you my experiences with stigma, and the myths that people have about epilepsy. When I tell someone new about my epilepsy, I worry I will be dropped like hot rocks. This has prevented me from continuing to try to make friends. I was also bullied through my entire schooling, except for university.

I refer to authenticity a lot throughout Life in Full Volume. Show your true colours. Tell your story. It’s just scary when you might be dropped like a rock if you are vulnerable.

Lots of love xox

 

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Tea and Drugs

elephant journal teaTea and Drugs. Two things that keep me going on a daily basis. Ask anyone: I love my tea. I have a variety of teas and the David’s Tea advent calendar all ready for December. It was a bit of a splurge but I couldn’t help but get it. 24 days of tea!! What could be more wonderful? I like your basic teas, such as Earl Grey and Orange Pekoe. I also love teas from David’s Tea such as Glitter and Gold, Buddha’s Blend, and Forever Nuts. Today after yoga class there was an amazing tea called Vanilla Almond. I loved it! I could have had more, more, more! I love that yoga studios put out tea for you once you are done your class. It is a way of connecting with the other people in the class and to come down from the savasana (meditation). My aunt’s yoga studio served this amazing tea which is also one of my other favourites: it is called Vanilla Honey Bush. I always steep it for about 5 minutes and then let it cool for a bit and it tastes incredible. There is something about the combination of Vanilla and honey that is so appealing. You have probably guessed by now that I really really like Vanilla.

I’m not sure why I am so in love with tea. I also drink lattes, which are a fun and expensive treat. There is something about tea though that brings me down and soothes my soul. I don’t know how I would live without it. I also have a weird relationship with tea. Even though I love tea, I spilled tea all over myself last year during a seizure. Sometimes people ask why do I still drink tea? Because I can’t not drink tea. I have the special Contigo mugs with locks on them so I won’t spill anything on myself, but there is nothing more satisfying than drinking it out of a mug.  If anyone has any issues with what to get me as a gift, anything tea related is usually the answer.

In addition to the tea I also need a cocktail of drugs to keep going. I don’t love the medications like I love the tea, but if it helps keep my seizures under decent control. I hate the taste of the medications if I dry swallow them and it sucks if I accidentally miss a dosage. My brain has become so used to the medications that it doesn’t work the same without them. It’s kind of freaky! My brain needs these drugs to function normally! It can’t just be a normal old brain and function like most people’s. I take more medications now than I did as a kid. I guess it’s because I need such a bizarre combination of medications that I would need more than one type. My hope is to one day be medication free- but I think that is not a realistic wish at all. That’s okay too; sometimes life surprises us and we need to go with the flow.

Love you lots! xox