Sorry I have been MIA. I am prepping for TedxStanleyPark, which you can watch in the comfort of your own home if you are out of Vancouver. I will provide a link on the day of! I am speaking about- what else? Chronic illness!! It is so exciting, yet stress inducing. If I just let go and didn’t want myself to be perfect I think it would be a lot easier.
Anyways, I digress. A couple of weeks ago I had an appointment with my epileptologist. Now let me tell you, after these appointments I am usually in a bad mood all day. Not because my epileptologist is a bad doctor, but it usually brings up feelings of hopelessness and makes me think of all the “can’ts” that I perceive in my life.
Finally though I felt like I was getting somewhere! I have felt like I have been treading water for so long with regards to options and treatments. Since the seizures come from everywhere in my brain, surgery isn’t really the best option for me. But what am I supposed to do with ongoing seizures? My seizures leave me with zero warning. It’s dangerous!
We discussed the possibility of a Vagus Nerve Stimulator. It has a 40% success rate, and in medicine that is a very high percentage! Near the end of the appointment I said to my doctor, “Do complex cases like me get helped with this?” He so gracefully responded by saying “YOU are not a complex case. Your seizures may be, but you are not”. That was the best thing he could have ever said. The differentiation between who I am as a person versus what my Epilepsy and seizure condition is like is so important! To have a medical professional recognize that was awesome.
I left his office with my mum in a positive mood, and I conversed with her in the car on the ride home over the sound of the radio. I even bought her Starbucks on our way home.
If you are in a tough position with your Neurologist or Epileptologist, trust me. It can get better. My Epileptologist takes his job very seriously, and recognizes that seizures impact a person’s mental health as well. I feel grateful for being able to try something new. I will never, EVER give up.
Love you lots xoxo