Epilepsy: Stepping Up and Taking Responsibility

successful woman

Hey guys! I am still recovering from the VNS surgery I had last week, and through this awesome book my gf lent me I realized something: I can either be the victim or step up and take responsibility. The author describes it like this: you end up with a crying baby on your door step. Is it your fault? No, but it’s your responsibility to manage it.

Too often I have been whining about my epilepsy and complaining that I am a victim to it. Did it make me depressed? Yup. Did I get anywhere? Nope. I have been stepping up more and taking better care of myself ( e.g., always carrying my emergency seizure meds, and I take full responsibility for when I experienced toxicity.) It was my own dumb fault that it happened, and I now rely on a dose-it, which can tell me if I’ve taken my meds or not. The VNS will work, but if it doesn’t epilepsy is just a facet of who I am, and not my defining character. RIGHT?!! ­čśÇ

I think my values have been skewed and have seen myself as a failure since I’m not a “successful” social worker. Like my mum says, one day at a time….and I’m also part of the core team for her entrepreneurial business.

I need to remember that everyone’s ideas of success are different, and I will kick ass in my own way. I am working on redefining myself and not just on my epilepsy. Like “Hey I am Sita I am an epileptic” aint an option anymore. Falling victim to something I cannot control is not an option.

 Lots of love,
Sita & JoJo xox
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I Finally got The Vagus Nerve Stimulator Inserted!!!

Hey guys!!

cute_cyborg_unicat_by_cansin13art-dak33xiOn July 5 I finally got the VNS inserted. If you have no idea what the f*ck that is, check out a quick definition here.  The surgery took wayyyy longer than I anticipated and it hurt more in the first couple of days than I thought, but I am avoiding taking the pain killers I was prescribed because it hurts my stomach a lot.

My Mum helped me change bandages today, and damn it looks nasty. There are slight stitches on my collar bone, and some ugly ones on my neck. But my girlfriend lent me this great book called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. I am reading the section about happiness and I love this quote: “…”Happiness requires struggle. It grows from problems. Joy just doesn’t sprout out of the ground like daisies and rainbows. Real, serious lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned….”

So the Vagus Nerve Stimulator is often described as a Pace Maker for the brain, but I still haven’t had it turn on. I joke with my girlfriend and family that I am becoming a cyborg. hehehe. I still feel kinda nauseous but I have changed out of my PJ’s and am wearing casual clothes so that’s a step in the right direction. I am also listening to Boyce Avenue (check them out on Spotify!) so they are nice and chill cover songs. Life has been a bit chaotic in my family life, but I am trying to just relax and take it as easy as possible. My brother is coming home today and my girlfriend is coming over tomorrow and I have some friends who are going to visit. So other than some nausea, I am a happy girl. From now on, this blog will be written by a cute cyborg! Woot!

Love,
Sita & JoJo

I’m a 27 Year Old Woman who Still Doesn’t know what the f*ck to Do

confused girl

 

Hey guys! I am back! A little tired, yet I have wanted to talk about this topic for awhile. Without knowing me, just based off of the title? Would people call me lazy? Yup. Am I?
Nope.

I had my plan all figured out when I was ten, and picked up that month’s edition of TIME magazine. I am in the generation that over diagnosed its’ students with ADHD. Autism was still new and neurologists/behavioral psychologists were still investigating it. This edition of TIME magazine profiled an 8 year old boy, who, (my ten year old brain understood) that he perceived and interacted with the world in a different way than I did. ┬áI was fascinated. From then on, I decided to become a social worker to work with individuals on the Autism spectrum.

I have been able to work with individuals on the spectrum (Asperger’s, before it was removed from the DSM IV). The students I worked with taught me so much, and I hope that I taught them a thing or two. This was my driving force to obtain my degree in social work.

But then my seizures came back, hard core. I graduated in 2014, but was still sure I would be able to work with Young Adults with Autism. My dream job was to work in a group home, but with all the requirements of a Class 5 driver’s license, that left me out of the running for many job opportunities.
I don’t know if I still have that social worker edge to me. I have considered becoming an Addictions Counselor, a Registered Massage Therapist becoming an aestheticism, public speaker, writer…..dare I say more?? ┬áSomeone told me that she had a hard time figuring out her purpose…but when she did it all clicked into place….and that it would be the same for me, too.

I’m still lost….and nothing is clicking yet. Hopefully with the Vagus Nerve Stimulator coming up this week I will have more energy and zest for my passion (whatever that is!)

Happy Canada Day and Early July 4 for my friends in the States.

Lots of love,
Sita & JoJo

PS I have only had ONE cold brew since quitting coffee!