Let me start this off with by saying that 2016 was a hellish year for most people I know. It was a very difficult year, politically, and Canada accepted over 39 thousand Syrian Refugees. We lost so many influential celebrities- and for me the loss of Canadian Poet and Musician, Leonard Cohen was the loss I felt the most. He has always been special to me and my family. This is my favourite song of his It touches me deep in the heart.
I don’t really want to go into the politics of the year, but for me personally 2016 was dynamite!
In 2016, I finally had the courage to come out to all of my friends and family as bisexual. (Or Queer, as I like to call myself). That lifted a huge burden off of my shoulders, as I had been questioning my sexuality since grade 7. I didn’t understand if I liked women, as I also have a big interest in fashion…so it took a lot of questioning to know whether I liked a woman based on her style or…that she was cute. I had the opportunity to date some fabulous women, and for the future, I know what I do and do not want in my relationships. Through coming out, I have made some spectacular friends, whom I am in contact with on a regular basis with. (I even run a meet up group with one!) I was so scared about coming out, as I was afraid that because I was bi, I would experience biphobia. That is not the case, as I was embraced by everyone. I could not have been happier! I did not experience discrimination from the people in my community, which made me so happy!
2016 I also did my Ted Talk which was amazing and so rewarding! I had worked frantically to produce an excellent talk, (and up to my standards). I expected that my talk might make waves at the conference, but baby, it made a splash! I also had the opportunity to meet so many incredible people, which in and of itself was amazing! I dabbled in entrepreneurship for a bit after that, but then realized that my true calling was Addictions Counselling. Which is my venture that starts this Friday January 5!! I am so excited!! To be heading back to school is truly amazing!
Also- in 2016,(last but definitely not least) I started to regain my health. I went for long stretches without seizures, and was even able to travel to Montreal, Ottawa, and Toronto by myself for my friend’s wedding. It was amazing to reconnect with friends that I hadn’t seen in two years or more.
I think the big take away from 2016 for me is that I have gained direction for my life, and what I really want to be doing. It is such a relief to finally have a direction, and to stick to it.
May I go boldly into 2017 with gratitude and confidence.
So, I’ve been kinda MIA for the last week or so. Sorry ’bout that. I guess it’s been a combo of writer’s block and dealing with some other things. Usually I’m churning out ideas like there’s no tomorrow but I guess I’ve needed a mental break. Oh well. I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing during my mental break. I’ve been doing workouts in my living room and holy geez! My thighs, legs, EVERYTHING! ACHES! Holy *&%^! I was also pretty stressed on Monday because of the Boston Bombing, and I accidentally clicked on some pretty graphic images. For those of you don’t know me well, I can be sensitive at times. So, I decided to just cuddle under a blanket and I ended up watching the Katy Perry documentary, “Part of Me”. It was actually really good! I’d never really paid much attention to her before but now I’m listening to her non-stop! Something about pop music is so inherently addictive. You might think “Oh how ignorant! Watching a Katy Perry documentary on the day of the Boston Bombings!” But you know what, I need to take care of myself. Especially with seizures, managing stress levels is essential.
I also made the most AMAZING smoothie this week! It’s a Banana Chai Smoothie, and it basically consists of lots of spices and a Banana! It’s perfect if you don’t really like to eat a huge lunch, because it’s super filling! I put Peanut Butter in mine, so it thickens it up a bit. It’s pretty tasty to have after a workout or just in between doing this and that. If you like spicy food you will LOVE it. I guarantee it! Shout out to my friend Kat for giving me this recipe!http://www.choosingraw.com/banana-chai-smoothie/
Hey all! Sorry I’ve been a little MIA, life is crazy with school and other things that gobble up time, but I’m back! Enjoy.
Do you ever have those days where you catch yourself in the mirror and you’re all like “Oh god when did I get this hot?” Well, I was having one of those days today when I caught myself in the mirror of my elevator while I was hauling groceries back to my apartment. Now, I’m generally not shy about looking in mirrors, but today I was caught off guard. I think I’m a prettty good looking lady, but I didn’t expect to look so good after hauling my groceries down the road and into the lobby. I imagined sweat stains at the pits of my shirt and that my long dark hair was in distress after being out in the sun and being blown around by the wind. Neither were true! My outfit was still perfectly put together, and dare I say that I even looked smaller than I remembered myself?
I think this awesome feeling was due in part to the fact that I was wearing my amazing ‘Bitch Boots’. My Bitch Boots are this amazing pair of lace up boots that have zips on the side (so you never actually have to tie them up), and look totally rocking with a pair of skinny jeans tucked into them. I even remember buying them: I was with my friend Sam looking around in Aldo. Before going shopping I promised myself that I wouldn’t buy anything and that it was simply to be a window shopping excursion. But no! Everything changed once I lay my eyes on my boots. Made of black leather (or probably fake leather, but shh) they were all hot, feminine, powerful and dare I say hipster all in one! Plus they were on sale, so that was a major bonus. Before I knew it I found myself trying them on, modelling them in one of those tiny little mirrors that make it so you can see only your feet.
They were amazing! I had to have them! Sam didn’t discourage it. I figured I would get a good bang for my buck, as they would last and wouldn’t go out of style for a while. Even though I loved them, I wondered what the boyfriend would think. I imagined him making fun of me, accusing me of being a hipster. Not like he can talk; he loves bands that no body knows and he just emulates that vibe sometimes. (Sorry bf, but remember I have leftover chocolate cake that you want!) Regardless, I was gonna buy them and wear them even if no one else liked them.
This idea of feeling powerful regardless of what other people think of you is essential for good self-esteem and confidence. However, it’s easy to let other people’s ideals of beauty rob you of this power. You can totally forget about your natural beauty by absorbing some bullshit mainstream idea of what is hot and what is not. Fuck those bastards! You should be the only one who decides what features of yourself make you hot.
Just yesterday I was at the grocery store buying some groceries for a little get together I was having with some friends. Since it was a Saturday afternoon (prime time for grocery shopping) I spent some time in line waiting to check out my groceries. Now, while I was waiting it was absolutely impossible to ignore the headlines on all the magazines. That 5 to 10 minute wait in a grocery store line is how I get updated in the ‘pop world’. (Oh and www.jezebel.com).
The tabloids on Star Magazine (I think it was Star) are what caught my eyes first. Headlines such as: Too Skinny and Starving to be Perfect leaped out at me. There were images of celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Gwen Stefani, and Jessica Simpson, and there was something critical to say about each of their appearance. Jessica Simpson was criticized for her baby weight and recent weight loss. How can you criticize someone for their weight gain during pregnancy? They just had a baby for gods-sakes! Kim Kardashian’s picture was accompanied with something along the lines of Still wanting to lose some more pounds, while Gwen Stefani’s picture had a quote with something along the lines of I practically starve myself to stay skinny. Oh, did I also mention she was wearing a crop top and you could practically see her ribs?
What. The. Fucking. Hell. This magazine is criticizing female celebrities for being too skinny, but at the same time these types of images are what perpetuates poor body image, crash dieting, and excessive exercising. Of course it goes in the opposite direction too: some people may binge, deprive themselves of food, or follow extremely rigid excercise and eating plans. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit angry. It seems as though there is no such thing as ‘good enough’ when it comes to bodies and appearance. If a woman is too skinny, she is accused of having an eating disorder. If a woman is too curvy, it must be mentioned all the time. This extreme idea of thinking in terms of being too skinny or being too heavy leaves little room for the development of positive body image and self-esteem. I would also argue that it leaves one in a constant state of worry and concern about their body. Er, let me rephrase that: sometimes it leaves me in a state of worry and concern.
Anyways, with all this scrutiny of women’s bodies in magazines, it’s great to have one article of clothing that always makes you feel awesome, no matter what the day. Even though the way magazine articles still anger me with regards to how they scrutinize female’s bodies, I have learned to separate myself from it and see it as realistically as possible. These women don’t get a break with how they look because they are under scrutiny all the time. I’m guessing this makes them need to look a certain way, because that’s what their manager wants, and it will help them sell more albums, or do better at the box office. Maybe they would actually love to be ten pounds heavier, but they are sacrificing it to follow their dream. I can’t judge.
I, on the other hand, don’t have the paparazzi following me, and I am the only person that passes criticism on myself. (Well other people do I’m sure, but I don’t notice and don’t really care that much). I have learned that I have power over how I feel about myself, so I am going to love the way I look, and love the way that makes me feel. So if a pair of awesome boots is what gets me there in the process, why the fuck not? These boots to me are more than just a pair of boots. I am reclaiming the word ‘bitch’ to encompass something strong and powerful, and it can be used as a compliment rather than an insult.
Life is too short to spend time worrying about all the little lumps and bumps. (Perceived or otherwise). Don’t let beauty ideals and ideas of perfection stop you in your tracks. You are perfect just the way you are, so keep on stomping in your bitch boots.
Thank you so much for reading. I would love to hear from you if you have any comments or suggestions for new topics or how I could improve. Love you all xox