Tag Archives: dating

Let me Tell You About Having a Seizure on a Second Date

adorable coupleThis past Sunday I was super excited for a second date. He had planned it all, and we were going to a Japanese Tapas bar. It was super loud inside the restaurant, but we managed to make conversation. We ordered about 5 dishes and he even paid for the whole thing! This surprised me, because I was totally happy to “Go Dutch” and split the bill 50/50.

Of course it was raining, so we decided to walk around downtown in the rain. We reached the waterfront, and it was almost pitch black with these tiny lights placed all in a row to help us guide our way. My eyes went blurry a couple of times, but I told them “No! You’re not going blurry!” and then they went back into focus again. I figured it was just mind over matter. Who was I kidding? I could control my blurred vision, if even for a few moments.

holding handsWe walked up a walk way, and while we were talking about something minute and nothing too important- BAM! I was unconscious and I had had a seizure. It wasn’t a gentle fall- I had face planted on to the pavement. I had told my date about my Epilepsy, and what to do in the event of a seizure, but neither of us had anticipated that I would actually have one during one of our dates. I honestly can’t remember how long I was out of it, but when I ‘came to’ (a phrase used to say basically coming out of a seizure) I remembered where I was and who I was with. Thank god. I have had seizures where I didn’t remember where I was or who I was with, so that was a relief.

I embarrassedly explained to my date that sometimes I just fall over during a seizure. It’s just something that happens! He was completely freaked out, but remembered the seizure first aid that I had previously taught him so he remembered to keep calm, which helped a lot. That makes no sense, but he was calm, while simultaneously being freaked out.

We walked towards the subway station and before I left to go home he said “I don’t see a third date happening. I don’t see this going anywhere.” NOW. That’s fine, because I hate wasting my time. However, it’s hard not to attribute his fear of my seizures to his interest in me. I keep telling myself “Sita, your seizure has nothing to do with this, and even if it does, you don’t want someone like that in your life”. Even though my rational mind knows this, my emotional mind doesn’t, so I need my wise mind to step in and mediate between all of these feelings.

When I got home I didn’t feel right. I felt seizure-y and nauseous so my mom took me to emergency to check that I didn’t have a concussion or any internal bleeding. Thank god I have neither. I must have one strong head because I smashed it on pavement, but there was no concussion or internal bleeding!  I was also wearing my protective helmet under my hat, so that must have helped to protect the fall. Unfortunately, my head still hurts, and  I spent all of Monday in bed due to head pains. Hopefully they will improve  during the week.

If you are going on a blind date and have seizures, I really recommend that you tell your date that you have seizures. If they aren’t cool with it, they you don’t need them in your life. If they are, then that’s great and then they will know what to do in the event of a seizure. Also! Teach them seizure first aid! It takes less than 5 minutes and it can be extremely helpful.

Dating with uncontrollled seizures is a bit of a nightmare, but if you are in this situation and you want a partner, don’t give up. The right person will come along. I promise.

Love you lots!! xox

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Epilepsy, Dating and Relationships

548773_10151208870782732_1535653806_nLet’s face it: Dating and relationships are hard enough as it is. You have to put yourself out there and be open to meeting new people. I kind of think of dating as a job interview: you’re putting on your best face and you always hope that it’s a good match in the end.

Then you throw Epilepsy into the mix. Do you tell your date about having epilepsy? Should it be mentioned on the first date? The second date? Not at all? It makes sense to not want to disclose right away; you don’t want to freak out your date when you first meet them. In my experience though, it just comes up, and it’s better to just tell the other person, so they are prepared in case something happens.

I was on a date one time, and I wasn’t planning on telling said Dude about the Epilepsy, but we met at a coffee shop and he suggested we go for drinks. I smiled and said “No, I don’t drink”, knowing very well that I’d just opened a can of worms. He was interested at this point. “For religious reasons? Or something else?…” His voice trailed off. “I have epilepsy”. His response “That must be really inconvenient falling asleep all the time!” Oh my goodness I laughed so much! I’ve never had someone confuse Narcolepsy and Epilepsy before.

I’ve been pretty lucky in my dating and relationship history. My epilepsy was well controlled when I was dating, so I didn’t have to worry about having a seizure on a first date, which is a relief. (Although it is not well controlled right now). All of the people that I was in the past responded really well when I told them that I had epilepsy. Mostly I just got questions as to what epilepsy was, and what they could do to help me. My ex boyfriends didn’t need to worry as much about it, as my seizures were very well controlled when I was with them, but they still understood that long days and lack of sleep triggered seizures. Seizures weren’t at the forefront of my mind when I was in those relationships, because my seizures were very well controlled. The mother of one my ex-boyfriends actually had epilepsy, so it wasn’t a super foreign concept to him. One of my other exes was with me for almost a year and never witnessed a single seizure! Can you believe it! They were mostly all in my sleep!

My current boyfriend is very supportive about my epilepsy. I told him about it on our first date, just because I figured it would be a safe thing to do. Also, let’s face it. I wear my heart on my sleeve. He has a family member who has epilepsy, and has witnessed a seizure or two before meeting me, so he wasn’t afraid of them. He just rolls with the punches, and can tell if I’m acting a little funny. I’m sure it’s not easy supporting someone with epilepsy, but he does an amazing job, that’s all I can say. Also, he never makes me feel “different” or “weird” in a negative way. He reminds me that I’m normal, yet unique, which is huge for me, because accepting the seizures is a long and twisty road.

Anyways, my advice for dating and epilepsy? Well, you didn’t ask but I assume this is why you’re reading this. I say it’s safer to tell your date. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal. It can be casual,such as by the way, I have epilepsy this is what to do. If you’re still uncomfortable, give them a number of someone to call if something serious happens. I understand that you don’t want to make the date all about your epilepsy, but it’s good to have your bases covered. If the guy or gal is a compassionate person, they will understand. I think generally people want to help and do what’s best in a difficult situation, so don’t be afraid to mention your epilepsy when you’re dating. The more comfortable you feel about it, the more comfortable they will feel. Love to you all! xox

PS What do you think of the new layout!?  🙂