Tag Archives: truth

I’m a 27 Year Old Woman who Still Doesn’t know what the f*ck to Do

confused girl

 

Hey guys! I am back! A little tired, yet I have wanted to talk about this topic for awhile. Without knowing me, just based off of the title? Would people call me lazy? Yup. Am I?
Nope.

I had my plan all figured out when I was ten, and picked up that month’s edition of TIME magazine. I am in the generation that over diagnosed its’ students with ADHD. Autism was still new and neurologists/behavioral psychologists were still investigating it. This edition of TIME magazine profiled an 8 year old boy, who, (my ten year old brain understood) that he perceived and interacted with the world in a different way than I did.  I was fascinated. From then on, I decided to become a social worker to work with individuals on the Autism spectrum.

I have been able to work with individuals on the spectrum (Asperger’s, before it was removed from the DSM IV). The students I worked with taught me so much, and I hope that I taught them a thing or two. This was my driving force to obtain my degree in social work.

But then my seizures came back, hard core. I graduated in 2014, but was still sure I would be able to work with Young Adults with Autism. My dream job was to work in a group home, but with all the requirements of a Class 5 driver’s license, that left me out of the running for many job opportunities.
I don’t know if I still have that social worker edge to me. I have considered becoming an Addictions Counselor, a Registered Massage Therapist becoming an aestheticism, public speaker, writer…..dare I say more??  Someone told me that she had a hard time figuring out her purpose…but when she did it all clicked into place….and that it would be the same for me, too.

I’m still lost….and nothing is clicking yet. Hopefully with the Vagus Nerve Stimulator coming up this week I will have more energy and zest for my passion (whatever that is!)

Happy Canada Day and Early July 4 for my friends in the States.

Lots of love,
Sita & JoJo

PS I have only had ONE cold brew since quitting coffee!

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I am Sita and This is My Truth

Hey everyone, I am writing this before I go to bed, and I had some thoughts that I needed to get out.
I know that I am an Epilepsy advocate, and by doing so I try to help spread awareness and understanding. I love that. In the same token, I am bloody mad. I am mad about the cards I have been dealt in life. Living with Epilepsy is not easy. I know there are other conditions that are not easy, or worse, but it is still hard. I have experienced stigma as a result of my seizures. It is not my fault. My neurons misfire and I fall to the ground. I have heard nasty things. My mom tells me to shake it off, and as much as she is right, the discrimination I feel is still present.

I am so, so, tired of trying to be cheerful all the time. Sliding into this depression is like sliding into a deep pit of mud, and the only way out is by being pulled out. I just want to be a “normal” twenty-something year old, get a job in my field of work, and not be seen as a liability to companies. I do have good times- don’t get me wrong, but I wish I could go back to my early  twenties and earlier when I never had to tell anyone about my Epilepsy. My mom says your gold is where your wound is, and she is probably right. My truth probably helps many other people with Epilepsy as well.

For some reason, I found myself this evening looking at a bunch of cards that I received last year for my graduation, and this year for my birthday,” we’re thinking about you cards”, and “we love you” type cards. I can tell that my friends know that I am unhappy, and they are doing everything in their power to help let me know that I am loved.

By stopping to read all of the cards, I realized one thing: I am important to people. Even though I am really mad about having this neurological condition which makes me tired, unable to work, and yes- say WHY ME! I still have friends and family who care about me like none other.  I am indebted to all of them for all of their support.

It feels nasty and icky to stand in my truth, but Brene Brown, Social Work PhD, says that it is important to own our own truth. So here it is. Let’s try to make life the best as possible.

Lots of love xox

Some Thoughts on Courage and Authenticity

children hands heartHey friends! So I have been thinking about one thing a lot recently: courage. I have always been given the label as courageous, which I found to be interesting. When I was in middle school our school motto was “wisdom, courage, and integrity” and when I graduated (from grade 9 haha) I was given the title of courage.

What does it really mean to be courageous and live a courageous life? What makes one person more courageous than another? I try to live my life to the best of my ability, and sometimes I take a little courage out of my back pocket to help me through tough times. But what about that is special? Don’t we all have difficult times in our lives? Don’t we all need courage? I don’t feel like I am any different than anyone else…okay well sometimes I do when I have accidents. I just feel like I am going through the motions of life, working through what I want and how I can ultimately get there, despite some of my limitations.

I have learned to surround myself with people who love and support me, and are strong pillars to lean on when I need that extra support. That has helped me get through so much, you probably know yourself!

So what is my definition of courage? I would say that it is having the ability to ask for help when you need it, and to stand strong in your own truth. I think it also takes courage to own your own truth, whatever it may be. Maybe you are reading this and you don’t have epilepsy, but you have your own truth that can be hard to own. Sometimes it is hard to own my truth of having epilepsy, but it’s not a death sentence. It’s challenging, but I have 64 million other people in the world who own that truth too.

Perhaps Courage overlaps a bit with authenticity. It takes courage to say “Hey, this is me. This is my story.”

This has been a bit of a muddle of thoughts but what are your thoughts on courage and owning your own story? Is it hard? Easy? Expected? You tell me!

Love you lots xox